Healing The World Through Self-Love

We all are taught to be kind to and put others first, yet we often forget to be kind to ourselves. A friend of mine recently shared how she was taken aback while reading an article she found in a magazine. The main idea was that the lack of regular exercise is as unhealthy to the human body as smoking, i.e., we are detrimental to ourselves if we do not take care of our physical health. Today, I can add on to the shocking truth of the article by saying that being kind and loving to ourselves is even more important than our physical heath. It is the most important decision we can take to not only heal ourselves but also to heal those around us - and ultimately the world.

The little voice inside our heads constantly comments and speaks to us as who we are and what is true for us. Because of this, we rarely question the thoughts that this voice generates. These are often self-loathing thoughts such as, “I am stupid; I am not good enough; I’m too fat or too thin; I will never succeed, etc.” While many of us seem to brush off these harsh self-critiques, we do not realize that somewhere deep inside of us, we start believing these thoughts. We take them as the truth about ourselves and so we overcompensate to prove to the world that it ain’t so! These thoughts make us hate ourselves and anyone else upon whom we project the same critiques. Extrapolating this from the individual to the entire world we can see how we are, consciously or unconsciously, accomplices with how our world currently is, riddled with rifts, disputes, wars, fears, unsustainable practices etc.

The fact that we all could be contributing to a world of violence through our thoughts was illustrated clearly to me recently. I have been off any social media since 2016, at the time when angry disputes about the Brexit and later about the US presidential elections started clogging my news feed. There was too much polarization, negativity, and false information. After a few restful years off social media, I decided to join a private group on Mighty Networks in 2020. It was a group of healers, spiritual guides, mediums, artists and channelers who would share their art, disseminate knowledge, or offer services. I only now realize how unfortunate of a decision it was to join a social media group exactly at the time of the new US presidential elections as well as a worldwide pandemic. Sure enough, angry or fearmongering messages started to pop up now and then. And then, something tipped me over completely: someone shared a satellite photo of the Americas showing a huge hurricane on top of Northeast America - only the cloud formation was in the shape of ex-president Trump’s angry profile. It took me a while to realize the violence behind this photo. I could not reconcile the fact that someone who had reached a higher level of consciousness could possibly hold so much hatred in their heart. In retrospect, the lesson I learned from this was that when we do not love our own self, we project our anger or dislikes or fear onto others thinking that we do not have any effect on them. We make others the reason why our lives are miserable. It is not sufficient to engage in spiritual or religious practices if we are not able to love ourselves, and through this love we have to incorporate the teachings into our everyday lives.

A Course in Miracles lesson number 26 “My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability” was a true eye-opener for me. It stated that if we are having attack thoughts against ourselves or against others, we are making ourselves prisoners of a never-ending cycle of fear. This is because once we attack others, we then enter the fear of retaliation. This forces us to prepare for an eventual counterattack and so we remain constantly in the defensive or in the fear of how others will attack us back. How do we stop this vicious circle of attack and fear?

1. Observe, meditate, contemplate, reflect.

You are the only one who can hear the little voice inside your head, meaning you are the only one who can choose to believe in its unloving thoughts. Take some time when you wake up in the morning or throughout the day to pause, observe, and reflect upon your state of mind and the quality of your thoughts. Are they attacking you or others? What hidden beliefs do your thoughts reveal? You will be surprised by the number of beliefs we hold in our subconscious that do not serve us at all. This regular practice of mind observation will help your mental wellness as you start clearing your subconscious and removing unnecessary internal noise coming from all sorts of stimuli (thoughts, sensations, perceptions, news, events etc.) You can start slowly by only meditating or observing your mind for a few minutes a few times a week. As you get more comfortable and start feeling better you can increase the frequency of the practice. Remember that you are doing this as a gesture of self-love, so be kind to yourself and get to know yourself more deeply.

2. Transform your negative chatter into a positive one.

Once you’ve become accustomed to observing the inner voice and to shedding a light on the false beliefs that you hold deep inside, you can decide on what is true or false for you. A tip that helps tremendously is that if a thought makes you feel uncomfortable, then chances are that the thought is untrue. You could then work internally to discover the false belief that you were still holding and that was making you feel worse every time you had that same thought. One such false belief I realized I had, was that once we know and accept our true nature as the higher Self, we no longer need to learn and grow. I now accept that growing, learning, and being curious is an act of self-love that is constant in our human lives.

For every negative thought you tell yourself, try to remember 3 positive thoughts about you. You will realize that it is very easy to find experiences you’ve had that prove your negative thoughts wrong. We cannot be wrong, stupid, not enough, or ugly all the time.

3. Forgive, forgive, and forgive again.

One thing that we should all be aware of is that every situation in which we find ourselves, is the result of a succession of many circumstances, decisions, and actions that cumulatively are way beyond us alone. Although our influence over any situation can be relatively small, it is still there. As such, it makes sense to start by forgiving ourselves first for situations we think we have brought upon ourselves. Forgiving ourselves means taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions that led us to a specific situation. Then we forgive others who also contributed to the situation. And finally, we forgive the Universe, Life, or God depending on which of these concepts rings true for you.

I truly understood the act of forgiveness through A Course in Miracles. Forgiveness is not the act of forgiving someone for what they did wrong, since we would be forcing ourselves to believe that we can make right an act of wrongdoing. Rather, forgiveness is the awareness that there is an error in believing that we are separate from each other and from the Universe. Forgiveness is also the acceptance that we are connected with one another and with the Universe. In this unity, there is no longer the concept of hurting “another” since this would equate hurting ourselves. The act of forgiveness is thus very powerful as it applies to all. It is not a power that we can grant to some people but withhold it from others. Since by not forgiving or including some people into our higher, united Self, we are going back to the vicious circle of attack and fear. We would either attack some people by not forgiving them or be in the defensive against them for when they will direct their wrongdoing toward us. Let’s break the chains of this imprisonment and forgive fully to constantly obtain a clean slate so that nothing accumulates to take on proportions that we can no longer manage.

So then why do we have to forgive so many times and again and again? This is because we tend to forget who we are and the unity we share with others and the Universe. We make the mistake to believe in separation from others and from creation repeatedly, until one day through forgiveness and grace, we no longer make the mistake.

At some point, you will come to realize that the situations that seem to “happen to you” are only the result of the laws of nature, the principles of creation - it is not personal. It is much bigger than you and yet you must also play your part - through self-love - so that you do not spread doses of negativity, anxiety, depression, or fear back into the world.

I would be very happy to guide you in your own journey to self-love. Feel free to send a private message here if you are looking for further guidance.