Saudade

Every language has a word that is untranslatable. In Portuguese, “saudade” is one of such word. More than a word, more than a concept, it embodies a deep longing for someone, for a place, or for a time that is no longer here with us.

Like in Cesaria Evora’s song, “Sodade,” those of us who left our countries long to return; there is no end to our saudade. Yet, when we come back, we find countries and people that have changed and evolved. Despite our return, we never find the same place and time we left behind and we have been longing for. And so the saudade persists, endlessly.

I remember one of many happiest moments in my life during a trip to Barbados. I had gone alone to my favorite beach, Pebbles, early morning and went into the water to swim away from the shore. After a while, I stopped swimming and decided to rest on my back, and this is went it happened. As I laid floating on the water, I opened my eyes and saw the full moon right above me. There was a deep realization that I was aligned with the earth, the ocean, the moon and what lies beyond and it dawned on me that I was at the right place at the right time. This is a life lesson that I had heard of before but never experienced it for myself, until I did at that exact moment. Wherever we are, whenever it is, we are always at the right place at the right time. This brings tremendous comfort that we can’t really mess things up or somehow escape God’s plan. Our choices, successes, even more so our mistakes and failures are what make us learn, grow, and evolve. We are always where we are meant to be.

So why do we feel this deep “saudade” within our soul? Is it that we are longing to bring back the past? Or be with someone we’ve lost a long time ago? Or maybe it means that we didn’t learn from our past choices? Somehow, the nagging feeling that something is missing in our lives actually pushes us to embark on a journey to discover what lies within our deepest being.

What are your deepest saudades? What do they say about where you are? What time is it when you remember them? What do you need to feel “complete”? Countries have developed entire music genres to explore and sing about “saudade”: the Morna in Cabo Verde and the Fado in Portugal. Mine has brought me to see the essence of Love in every face, situation, landscape… What will you create from your saudade?